Breakfast of Architects: Joanne Mattera’s Artful Menu

A week or two ago Joanne Mattera, author of the wonderful art blog JoanneMattera, posted a BRILLIANT response to my photo of Frank Gehry crepes in Toronto when I asked someone to explain to me what was going on. Ok, I realized that it was posted across the street from the Gehry-designed Art Gallery of Ontario but still.

Frank Gehry Special in front of the Art Gallery of Ontario

Joanne’s response is too good not to share and when I told her about my decision to repost her witty comments she was kind enough to add a few items to her “menu”…so without further delay.

From Joanne:

Of course they’re Frank Gehry Crepes. Look at how they twist and fold over on themselves. And they’re clad in titanium! No, wait, that’s maple syrup.

But did you see what else was on the menu?

  • Corbusier Pancakes: The maple syrup is on the inside;
  • Philip Johnson Flapjacks: Just a tall simple stack. The waitress will take them away if you try to put syrup on them;
  • I.M. Pei Pancakes: The plate starts with a large, light pancake , and each successive disc is smaller and smaller. Theyre so airy, they’re almost translucent;
  • Diller & Scofidio Crepes: They cantilever over the edge of the plate;
  • Tadao Ando Pancakes: So minimal that the waitress brings you three small bowls, one each of flour, eggs and baking powder;
  • Zaha Hadid Johnnycake: Not sure how good they are, but they’ll get reviewed everywhere;
  • Frank Lloyd Wright Organic Breakfast: Whole wheat pancakes, stacked simply and asymmetrically and . . .oh, Look out for the falling coffee!;
  • Edward Durrell Stone-Cold Waffles: A stack of gridcakes covered completely with a Cloepfil crepe;
  • Michael Graves Pancakes ®: Graves Post-modern Pancakes ®, served on Graves Post-modern Plates ®  with Graves Post-modern Flatware ®  on a specially designed Graves Pancake Table ®. This hearty breakfast is available in Target cafeterias everywhere;
  • The Versailles Pancake Extravaganza: 500 golden pancakes arranged symmetrically on a bed of caviar-encrusted waffles, surrounded by a sunburst of cream-filled crepes, and served on a sterling silver platter brought to the table by 25 waiters in Louis Quatorze serving attire. The pastry itself, garnished with exotic berries, is sweetened with maple syrup and orange-blossom honey, sprinkled with brown sugar, and dusted with a soupcon of cardamom. A Jeff Koons balloon dog centerpiece completes the presentation;
  • Antonio Gaudi Breakfast to Go: You might want to order the Egg McSandwich from the Drive Thru. Those pancakes aren’t going to be done for a while; and
  • And don’t forget the Donald Trump Grits: They’re all puffed up, with a swirl of syrup that starts at the back and swoops down over the folds in front.

2 responses to “Breakfast of Architects: Joanne Mattera’s Artful Menu”

  1. Oly Avatar

    I like my grits with cheese and buttah, not a dead squirrel on top!!!

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