What I won this week

Look I won something … LOL
The closest I'm going to get to a trophy of my achievement.

Oh, there’s never a dull moment in my life and this week Artlog gave me an award for my urine-drenched urine-related tweet last week.

What was my award-winning tweet, you ask? Well, I posted a link to a short post I wrote for Hyperallergic with the following snark:

I love urine-related humor, just sayin’ // RT @hyperallergic: A Urinal Is a Urinal Is a Urinal hyperallergic.com/6306/urinalgate

Not only was I shocked and confused by my accolade but Artlog’s Dylan Fareed assured me it was no mistake, they definitely didn’t miss the bowl, as it were. He tweeted the following in response to my “huh” remark on Twitter:

@hragv we thought long and hard at @artlog about the appropriate tone for this first week. I think we nailed it.

I know, I know, they must be sick fucks but that’s alright. I’m all for letting your freak flag fly, though I’m really concerned that I set the bar far too high for future winners or is that “winners.”

If I had know that my urine tweet …
Oh, the pride

Then today, Paddy Johnson — who can’t resist a good urine-related tweet either it seems — suggested (I’m hoping tongue-in-urethrae cheek or something) that I should submit it to some Twitter competition in the UK. While I don’t like to brag, I do think I do have one fecal-related tweet from a while back that is certainly more award-worthy than that tweet I pissed out last week and it was immortalized in Johnson’s assessment of William Powhida’s “Hooverville” (2010).

I just want to say that my mild-manner tweet never expected such fame and acclaim. It told me this morning that it feels shy about all the attention. I assured it that it will never have to do anything it doesn’t want to do and with that it felt reassured. I, on the other hand, am still a little confused.

But come to think of it, shouldn’t I be awarded a virtual trophy or something to mark my achievement? Well, hopefully this will all lead to a commendation by the Library of Congress after they finish archiving all of Twitter. My place in history is assured.

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